hi there.

i stopped bloggin’ here. i have moved to http://fixoid.tumblr.com where i will be blogging pictures. Well, i might post more crap here, but its not like anyone cares.

thx

\stop IT WITH THE FUCKING GEN Y CRAP

alright, absolute zero.

time to start again

bald chix are hot

maudlin

it is time to begin, i guess; to rotate ,like, like a burning sphere in reverse chronological order remembering the time that we have lost with references to the things that have past, never know in the second person, with our idols by our sides, forgetting and taking from taken from  ourselves by the train that never stops, an agglomeration of webbed allusions, forever tangling with each other at once loving and rejecting all that they have know but cannot stop from creating cliche.

we will never know taste, but we shall know style; we shall refute never with the music out parents rebelled to, never knowing our refutation, hoping to take with in us the oppositions of others, seeking desperately to be that which we have been made to desire, by that which we hope to desire in an unending and un-begging torrent of re-aggregated things we hope never to imbue. we cannot love; we cannot be; culturally stunted by singularity of the tech industry, which we know intimately through years of ambient study. and this is taxing me: never drink alone and rant about the regurgitated regurgitation of the regurgitators. live only to that which you will never know and refute the ablutions of pertinent commentators; to be ignorant is bliss: bliss taken from a naivety which breaks all four walls asking you to be at once in a position to assimilate the data which it offers in pragmatic TAKE TJIS |HATERZ.

thank you. thank you for all the things that you have taught me: i did not wish to know. 4 now i know the all things that i had never hoped to, and in my self aware pragmatism, i view these things only as a means to the which you have forced upon; the false and overtly pretentious, stylised writing, the hope that i will never have to do the work that you have done to teach me these things; that i might lie back and recline in the cesspool of ur false knowledge the things proffered to the intoxicated children with the nonsense ,and fantasy fandom’s all being into one gay orgy of stupid bullshit, which not one person has ever desired to read; its glory stunted in all places, except the minds of its creator. for we are one now, one in our bullshit and rhetoric, alone together at last, the last being the only and also the first out time and place, and fuck deluze, run on sentences run forever with out children who penned them, guaranteed the eternal life promised by our over references to item with more status. once a sufficient level of complexity is achieved we assume the appearance of the means we discarded with our references, seeking not to make sense but to be connected to all which are connected.

and what of things? we have some many of them now. incorporeal and ephemeral like the high school verbiage we spew, from our blog holes.

this post is worth 15 billion.

update

nothing

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“I can innovate 10 times faster than any journalism organization,”

orthoepy is hard to pronounce

The windows live hotmail spellchecker now knows that “blogging” is a word. I would personally like to welcome microsoft to the world of 2004.

MC marcel - In search of lost rhyme.

this has the potential to be at least as good as MC hawkings “A brief history of rhyme”

Things were different this time.

Roland is dead; i’ll help out: the blogger is dead.

star wars for the generation*.

igeneration, generation me, myspace generation, facebook generation, mellienials, generation y.

i will also proffer “lolgeneration”

*halo sux

social graph paper.

i guess

gogole

2.0 be or not 2.0 be.

i wish i thought of that.

i have also seen: 2.oh.

We need to think of more.

Twitosphere

this blog is insipid

if one publishes a blog in book from, is it like transformers for nerds?

i supposed i should also take issue with the idea that transformers were ever for anything that is not middle america or japan.

i will follow this with several more counterintuitive  insights in to popular culture, which are ultimately vapid and not all that insightful, if you consider them for more than the time it too you to consume them; which is not a particularly good idea due to there vapid nature and shifty, stabby eyes. the eyes that glare at you like the eyes of insipid pop culture insights on blogs, self-evident and insipid, always staring at giant robots in middle distance, devoid of all substance expect cookie monkeys and random quirks like giant robots that can transform into cars, and rhetorical  tautologies, composed entirely of buzz words, designed by professionals to make you purchase.

i like that stuff. But i don’t like transformers; transformers suc.

abnegation

sometimes i do not update

gawker is 4chan with more degrees

if you hate advertisments so much, why did you become one?

web2.0punk

mellifluous didactic

slave labour and marlboro lights

From now on i will be having “lifestream”. I do not know what this entails; only that my love for buzzwords is untempered.

Removed “hedge fund management” from the activities section of my facebook profile and blogged about it.

i like the rise of the user.

1. Entrepreneurship

creative brands create cultural hubs for their communities

creative innovation

Events to which subjects assigned a probability of 2% happened 42.6% of the time.

http://www.singinst.org/upload/cognitive-biases.pdf 

http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2007/08/on-cognitive-biases-and-markets.html 

http://www.indexuniverse.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3043&Itemid=28

To this end, the clan remains independent of the Sects of other Kindred, and practice with great skill the arts of corruption, deceit and ancient sorcery.

http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Followers_of_Set 

http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=mtgevent/valencia07ptq/0721philadelphia 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silt 

http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Vampire:_The_Masquerade 

http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Time_of_Thin_Blood_%28book%29 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Sun 

nigrescent inutile

normal time?

Internet vanity publishing and copying the rotation of a burning sphere.

um, i broke this blog somehow by messing with the time and date (see the post from 1970)

TIME WARP

still 1970?

21 best ever and insipid productivity tips that WILL make your facebook appliaction make money in 21 days2.0

1. Read long lists of productivity tips

2. Read scoble

3. Read digg

4. Facebook

5. Iphone

6. Twitter

7. Use the iphone keyboard to type up your opinions on the iphone keyboard

8. It’s really fucking hard to think of 21 productivity tips

9. “get it”

10. Use unnecessary quotes

11. Make more lists

12. Blog

13. Create lolcats

14. Blog about lolcats

15. Constantly refresh the apple store

16. Change everthing

17. Edge strategies and horizontal value chain atomization

DIGG THIS

spend more time watching tv

now?

still 1970?

now?

From your 274 subscriptions, over the last 30 days you read 14,315 items, starred 0 items, and shared 103 items.

feed breakdown:

272: lolcat related

1: boing boing

1: dealbreaker

surf more:

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=347318&page=2 

http://www.ixaxaar.com/ 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hostpage.aspx?show_id=13428 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness 

http://online.sagepub.com/browsejournals.dtl 

http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/08/08/how-much-pain-for-wall-street-banks/ 

http://www.dealbreaker.com/2007/08/post_406.php 

http://www.area105.com/ 

http://www.jenski.com/ 

all subprime, all the time.

i fear change and mean reversion

edit: some person alleges that mean reversion does not exist. i chose not to listen to him because he was using maths.

 

 

 

 

hmmm

Property classes are created from property class factories.

curlicues

and other stuff too

anhedonic

does not exsist

internet

if you delete the date options, you cannot publish!

this is new post

dsafg3ewqdfas

procrustean pleonasm

List of items pronounced dead by web2.0 pundits:

1. Main stream media (also know as “msm”)

2. News papers

3. Paper

4. Publishing

5. Lying to consumers in advertising

6. Non-participatory media

7. Physical distribution

8. Microsoft

9. Sharp corners

10. Web2.0

11. Myspace

12. Linked in

13. Yahoo

Canon tropes.

Sentencing innovation; sounds innovative.

canon.

PSEUDOTRANSHISTORICAL!

.coms > web2.0

i guess the next web fad will  also need a “.”

he also premiered many of his films at Stockholm’s historic Roda Kvarn Theatre, which is now home to a breathtaking Urban Outfitters location.

and community is the most valuable commodity there is in the digital age.

the end for carbon paper.

witchgrass

my opinions about music

photos of my dog

i like the days when nobody visits

http://www.myfoxla.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=3894628&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1

This is real.

Marketers are as influential and important as friends.

and the lawyers are gathering.

17 days of meaning and the Most famous blogger at Intel

Oprah-sanctioned

Oprah Winfrey’s Beloved Golden Retriever Dies

this post had a big idea

cyberweb 2.0

so, like, now that apple has a phone, we should rename phonecalls “phonecasts”.

Soon, this  blog will be reduced to doing posts about lolcats it saw while browsing face book on its iphone.

The use of the term “jobsian” indicates the opening of the season on the suffix “ian”. I think we can all see where this leads:

lohanian

lets write a book about blogs

blank

via

disrobing the androsphinx

ersatz ersatz. ersatz replacement. substitute ersatz.

cinematic

cinematic

witch

i got a new cat.

i have 144 spam comments now.  it’s a shame none of them show up.

i wish there was a way to approve them.

From your 241 subscriptions, over the last 30 days you read 9,913 items, starred 3 items, and shared 64 items.

Because of Mr. Self-esteem and that puppet king in the bizarre alternate universe, everyone thinks they can eat $40 crab legs.

“Glad to see you. Let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and author of The Viarga Myth”

a chair made of tennis balls. a tennis ball made of chairs made of tennis balls. a chair made of tennis balls made of chairs of made tennis balls and so forth.

contemporary design IS innnovation.

i had a dream about the iphone. this might be the most bloggable thing that had ever happened to me.

transformative

surfin:

 http://stylezeitgeist.com/forums/thread/24666.aspx

 http://www.artandculture.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/ACLive.woa/wa/artist?id=314

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathaniel_Hawthorne 

http://archinect.com/features/article.php?id=59857_0_23_0_M 

http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=mtgcom/daily/fk46 

http://substitute.livejournal.com/1295276.html 

 http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=941

http://www.metafilter.com/ 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knights_of_the_Round_(video_game) 

http://www.neo-geo.com/ 

http://www.stickycarpet.com/dam/ikaruga.htm 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikaruga 

why do i feel so bad?

iphone: gtfo my internets

“We don’t have an unelected fourth branch of government. You can’t vote them out of office, so you gotta sue ‘em.”

Get skinny jeans, find everyone who thinks i am a poser asshole, then befriend them.

i  might pretend to be a real blogger for a little while:

IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE

Paris Hilton is out of jail !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lets all head back on over to aol now

i got a new cat

this is boring

this post is a flow chart of graphs

more leverage more debt more risk !!!

Bear Stearns High-Grade Structured Credit Strategies Enhanced Leverage Fund

protomomo

soon people will be hectoring people about hectoring

white and cold as lilies taken from a grave filled with rain

this is an update

because we live in interesting times and everything is so fucking dull. six billion consumers coming for you with needles and lies, and stars in their eyes. Peaches Geldof vomiting in the corner while you make out with this pointless second person meatnarrative which does not involve you, but manages to explain with out recourse the mysitcal origins of beef, above and beyond the call of whatever non denominational, religion you might choose to hold in the intrest of becoming a more tolerant and enlightened human being that wants you to go home and stop trying to make people care about you.

i think i remember, we are all better than you, or perhaps you are better than we, well, i forget, the most important part, oh wait, it is not important, we are all better than each other except for those of us who lack attention.

all things being equal, apart from those things which reside in africa and panda unicorns. i know this because bono told me. i am a bad person who does not care. this whole things so simplistic and blunt, but we don’t have wholes anymore, we threw them out with out old rhetoric.

FUCK BUSH; I AM LEFT WING. I AM ALSO A FUCKING BRAND.

anyhow, i am headed back on over to guardian soul mates. you are welcome to join me, although, i doubt you can tolerate my bad punctuation and lack of capital letters.

This post disrupts disruption.

That is what is wrong.

It is the british, when it should be the americans.

CLICK THE CAT TO SHOP

I’m Female.

on trend.

my technorati authority rank is up to 1. that’s right, i am coming for you scobble.

ok, who googled “save the shit out of you”?

not even this blog is safe from the cbs lastfm deal.

BC: If it’s not authentic and genuine, then “Brand Me” is stupid. You should live and be who you want to be, and then make sure that’s how the world actually perceives you (branding).

life is boring

my threadless slogan “hot young artist” has a mindmelting 11% approval rating. i think i might submit “vote bush” next time.

cho rly?

If it is possible for you to become offended, 4chan will offend you. I know you, you grew up on rotten.com and beheading videos, midget porn and goat.cx, well maybe not; i guess my childhood was just demented, anyway, 4chan is mean. Don’t say i did’nt warn you.

4chan is an imageboard based on the japanese format used by sites like http://2ch.net/ and others. 4chan uses the same (customized) futaba image board software as the japanese version. This format differs from message board formats favored by english speakers. In the context of this shitty blog post, the most important difference is unregistered, anonymous posting(see image above). It might have been started in 2003 by ex-goons who got banned from something awful for lolicon. Oh yeah, 4chan is about anime or something like that, whatever.

4chan is composed of many boards divided by subject. By far the most popular board on 4chan is /b/, the random board. /b/ has like 29000000 plus post now. The only things whaich are not allowed on /b/ are those which are overtly illegal.

/b/ has a level “adult content” that i have not encountered on any other site. You see everything from semi legal high school girls and boys (jailbait) to “how i fixed my car” threads. Illegal content is often posted, and is allegedly removed by the mods as soon as it is detected. In reality many kinds of quasi legal content are tolerated, and even endorsed by 4chan.

Anyway, if you want a better introduction just read the wikipedia entry, unless the stupid wikipedians deleted in the name of human knowledge and learning (again)

Most of this post is about providing links to sites that provide a more authentic** 4chan experience. so, um, yeh:

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/4chan

This is a comedy site; comedians often speak the truth. Most of this stuff is true. Also check out /b/day. This is about as good as an introduction to 4chan gets.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Moot

This is the guy that started 4chan, he seems a lot gayer than i remember. He is/was a goon. yes, that is him, the one in the dress.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1341330415013140142&q=4chan+panel

This is the 4chan panel from otakcon 2006. It explains what 4chan is as well as one can, and delineates some of the userbase.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Category:4chan

This is the best place to learn about the culture of 4chan. It contains all the memes you nee d to know about. Most of these are pretty fun; you are probably lazy. I have listed the six most important memes for your convenience:

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Longcat | The one and only, stolen from 2chan, it is just a really fucking loooong cat. Perennial, god like figure.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Desu | DESU DESU DESU DESU

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Cockmongler | Also known as grinman.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/IMMA_CHARGIN_MAH_LAZER | This is originally from dragon ball z, but has become so much more. A mix of blaxploitation, anime and high powered energy weapons this is almost beyond comprehension.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Mudkips | Mudkip is ultra popular. Other pokemon such as: slowpoke, seaking* and psyduck are also popular.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Pedobear | Again, stolen from 2chan, where it was just a normal bear; on 4chan this bear is now a pedophile. Enjoys enduring popularity.

Other popular memes include: how do i shot web?, DO NOT WANT, This is sparta, raptor jesus and epic fail guy.

http://4chanarchive.org/board/

This site archives the good threads 4chan. It is an easy way to see some of the best(worst) things the site has to offer. I think this is a better alternative to going on the real /b/.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij3ymiDWhdM

This might be 4chans finest moment. A hoax plot to bomb nfl games started on /b/ made cbs news.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij3ymiDWhdM

Nice flash animation with some of the well know characters.

http://www.lurkmore.com/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page

Like wikipedia for chan stuff. It’s better to read this after you have looked at encyclopedia dramatica, as it has been written for /b/tards by /b/tards. Most of this site is shit.

http://orly.yi.org/macrochan/piles/

Contains many of the image macros created on 4chan or stolen from something awful. This site is good for building an understanding of the humor and mind set of a channer. Many of these are super funny.

Other chans:

http://www.420chan.org/

Run by the inimitable raidmaster Kirtaner, this chan is the spiritual home of /i/. Before invasions need a new home, this chan was focused on drugs. Actually pretty rad if you don’t mind the destruction of the innocent.

http://7chan.org/

After /b/day many of the people who liked raids went to 7chan. After the hal turner raid 7chan was infected with the very aids it had tried banish, and died in its own gay ass. Don’t visit unless you love captchas.

http://www.12chan.org/

This is might be the worst thing ever to come from chan culture. This chan is focused on lolicon and semi legal photos of children. I have only been to this site once and I regretted it. People are pretty much counting down the days till these guys get v&.

*FUCK YEAH

**”what’s wrong bart? you love youth culture”

If people continue to be interested in this, i might write a bit about invasions, which are by far my favorite part. There seems to be quite a bit of demand for items pertaining to caturday (fuck you lolcats) so i would also be tempted to have a go at that.

swan plague god

sfda

i think i hate entrepreneurship. I hope your start up bombs, I hope your funding is poisonous, i hope you blog is swallowed whole by 22,900,000 disaffected ghost of exxon mobil*, you will drown in the blue ocean. you are not friendly, you don’t care about me; i don’t care about your cute error message or carbon neutralities.

i will never register for your service, i will never buy your product and you will fail. you will be left surrounded by the bones of hiv positive models in you stupid loft which you don’t because are actually a start up guy and you live in silicon valley not Williamsburg, but you have a bubble too, acknowledged and acclaimed by the the same people who became experts in 2000 and have now caused a bubble of bubbles.

don’t worry al gore is coming to fuckin save the shit out of you, he has a new book coming out you know?

because we are all happy and now and everything changed we green and responsible and in the future thing will be better thanks to wonders of seventy million dollar warhols and recycling; i will never forget anyone i have met, we will accrete forever; separation disincarnate never liking each other only tolerating constant updates flowing forever never stopping until myspace death.

fuck innovation.

i wish they would swallow this blog too, actually the whole wordpress, yes i am talking to “i can has cheese burger”. “i has jumped the shark” this is stolen from metafilter.

if art was a company, the critics would be in middle management

15 clicks of lame. warhole lol

This is the best thing ever:

http://www.videogramo.ws/

It’s like william gibson got high, went insane, then started ripping shit up with ms paint.

this should be better

i have encountered at least three separate instances of trendy as fuck cooking today. if i was a gambling sloth i would put some money on the rise of hipster cooking. i guess it comes with the that silly green stuff.

Taking into account that fact that i pay no attention to food culture, i will be at least a year late picking this up. So here is to soy power bars and extreme coffee.

“They see me blogrollin’, they hatin’”

edit: search suggests that this joke has not be made before.  i am amazed.

 this is the worst decade for fashion ever

I have created the ultimate hipster animal: introducing the Deericorn. Somebody must have done this before. *sigh*

thx google images and photoshop.

profundity is stupid

actually, slaughter and may is a far better name for my hipster band.

if i had a hipster band, i would call it cobra wolf.

dude, did you bring the micro chunks?

no, wait, come back, i can be disruptive!@#@@!

webtickle should marry perez hilton. they would rule all media.

psyc: this post is actually about kate moss and normal popular celebrities you know all about all the time because of our always on all ways connected world.

FACEBOOK.

but we like the connections and we crave them because life is so fucking dull that you need to check your twitter even though you don’t have any messages, all the messages you did have were vapid, and nobody gives a fuck about you how you work in new media, you pretentious cunt. then you need to do a post about twitter, which like this post, has nothing to say and is just a a pathetic attempt to reach out to your ex, because deep down inside all you want to do is rub your wet meaty parts on other peoples wet meaty parts and be better than other people.

but for some reason you still care about saying important things. if you say important things, you can become a celebrity blogger. if you become a celebrity blogger you get to be in business week in 2005 or in time in 2007. you become bigger than scoble; they give you the keys to the blogosphere which you promptly crash into the back of your neighbors prius.

then you die, in pain.

your cadaver is diced up, and turned in to a locally produced alternative to plastic carrier bags.